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原创 快乐不打烊,简短笑话随时等你笑!

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2. 儿子放学回家,一脸兴奋地告诉妈妈:“妈妈,我今天在学校参加了‘未来职业体验日’,我扮演了医生。”妈妈好奇地问:“那你都干了什么呀?”儿子认真地回答:“我给同学们量了体温,还开了很多‘假药’,告诉他们吃了就能好。”妈妈笑着摇摇头:“你这医生还挺会安慰人的嘛。”

3. 同事小李在办公室抱怨:“这电脑怎么老是卡顿,比我脑子还慢。”老王走过来,拍了拍他的肩膀说:“小李啊,你得给电脑减减肥了,你看它肚子上的‘硬盘’都快装不下了。”小李苦笑:“那我岂不是得给它买个跑步机?”

4. 妻子在厨房炒菜,发现家里的盐罐空了。她让丈夫去买盐,丈夫正在打游戏,随口答应:“等我打完这一局。”妻子故意板起脸:“你再不去买盐,我就用眼泪代替盐炒菜了。”丈夫连忙放下游戏手柄,飞奔出门,回来时手里还多了包纸巾:“老婆,以备不时之需。”

5. 儿子问妈妈:“妈妈,为什么你总是在我玩游戏的时候叫我学习?”妈妈笑着说:“因为学习是让你变得更聪明的魔法棒,而游戏只是暂时的快乐。”儿子想了想,说:“那妈妈你做饭的时候为什么不看书呢?这样你不就能变得更聪明,做出更好吃的饭了吗?”

6. 同事小张在午休时间刷手机,突然大笑起来。老王凑过去问:“看到啥这么好笑?”小张把手机递给他看,原来是一段模仿老师上课的搞笑视频。老王看完后,也学着老师的样子开始讲课,但口音一跑偏就成了方言,逗得小张笑得前俯后仰:“老王啊,你这是要当‘方言界的名师’吗?”

7. 妻子在厨房切菜,不小心切到了指甲。她疼得叫了一声,丈夫闻声赶来,紧张地问:“没事吧?要不要贴个创可贴?”妻子摇摇头,说:“不用了,就是个小伤口。”丈夫松了口气,然后拿起指甲刀仔细看了看:“这指甲刀也太锋利了,我得给它磨一磨,省得以后再伤到你。”妻子哭笑不得:“你这是要让我改做‘无甲仙人’吗?”

8. 儿子放学回家,书包里装着一张“最佳体育精神奖”的奖状。妈妈好奇地问:“这是什么奖?你怎么得的?”儿子得意地说:“今天学校运动会,我参加的是接力赛。虽然我们班没拿第一,但我一直努力跑,没有放弃。”妈妈笑着夸奖:“儿子,你的体育精神真的很棒!”

9. 同事小李在办公室抱怨:“这天气太热了,我感觉自己快成‘人肉干’了。”老王打趣道:“那你得找个阴凉地儿,再撒点孜然和辣椒粉,就能直接上桌了。”小李苦笑:“那我还是做根冰棍吧,至少能凉快一会儿。”

10. 妻子在厨房做饭,发现家里的酱油快用完了。她让丈夫去买,丈夫正在看小说,随口答应:“等我看完这一章。”妻子假装生气:“你再不去买酱油,我就用醋代替酱油炒菜了。”丈夫连忙放下书,边走边嘀咕:“这年头,连酱油都要跟我抢看书的时间。”回来时,他还特意带了本菜谱:“老婆,学点新菜式,给你惊喜。”

发布于:广东省